Today was a rough day. Missing my dad, missing Mike, having no one to celebrate with thankful that I was suppose to work tonight so I could sleep. But now I am awake and the ache is still there and my daughter called and said how she was missing her dad a lot lately. I know what she means.
It comes and goes in waves and some days it is horrible or I am so angry with him about something in the past that the hurt is rubbed out by the anger. I continue to learn about grief and the feelings that come along with it. Then there is dealing with the feelings or not. Most of the time I do choose to deal with them because I have learned what ever you don't deal with will come back to haunt you.
Tonight I am on call for the hospital so I am up for a while but will sleep soon. I ache more for my kids and I know it is something they have to deal with and I can not protect them from it or take it away for them. We must all walk through.
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