Today was a rough day. Missing my dad, missing Mike, having no one to celebrate with thankful that I was suppose to work tonight so I could sleep. But now I am awake and the ache is still there and my daughter called and said how she was missing her dad a lot lately. I know what she means.
It comes and goes in waves and some days it is horrible or I am so angry with him about something in the past that the hurt is rubbed out by the anger. I continue to learn about grief and the feelings that come along with it. Then there is dealing with the feelings or not. Most of the time I do choose to deal with them because I have learned what ever you don't deal with will come back to haunt you.
Tonight I am on call for the hospital so I am up for a while but will sleep soon. I ache more for my kids and I know it is something they have to deal with and I can not protect them from it or take it away for them. We must all walk through.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Much Has Happened
Since April 16, 2009 many things have taken place only to prove that change is a constant way of life.
April 30, 2009 I resigned as a deacon from our church realizing it was not what I was called to do at this point in my life. I will live in the background.
May 3, 2009 I graduated from Muskegon Community College with an Associates in Science and Arts degree/Nursing. I have sent my application in for taking the RN state boards.
June 10, 2009 I started back at North Ottawa Community Hospital as and LPN/GN and will be able to work full time this summer.
June 12-14, 2009 I attended the Multi-Ethnic Conference of the CRC. It was life changing for me and has given me many things to pursue to change in my own life so that I can effectively support changes in the church. Some of the questions that came up was what is it like to be an Irish, Scottish, Bohemin, Blackfoot, English American female in today's world? What does it mean for me who has spent the last 30 years in pentecostal, charismaic non-denominations to now be back in the Christian Reform Denomination? What does God want my home church to look and be like and how does that match scripture?
I learned about self-theologizing and that in doing this I am letting God form my beliefs to his word instead of just allowing me to be had fed what this scripture means and believeing. I also learned this is ok.
It was absolutly great being with my brothers and sisters from all over the US and of different ethinic lives. I heard so many stories and I love that. I also heard the stories of my brother and sisters from my own church and got to know them better. A closeness I will cherish.
I learned the church has come a long way, it is growing but we still have a ways to go before we can accept and cherish each others differences and "love each one as our neighbor." I learned that there are people dedicated to keep the church going in the acceptance direction, to keep reminding people that we are all image bearers of our Heavenly Father. I met a new brother, Mark Charles, Reggie Heywood and a couple from LA Richard and Allison Jones. I was reunited with brothers and sisters from two years ago. My highlight was witnessing the Synod of 2009 elect Rev. Shelia Holmes as their Vice-President evidence that God's "will is done on earth as it is in Heaven."
buíochas le Dia! for all your gifts. (Irish gaelic)
April 30, 2009 I resigned as a deacon from our church realizing it was not what I was called to do at this point in my life. I will live in the background.
May 3, 2009 I graduated from Muskegon Community College with an Associates in Science and Arts degree/Nursing. I have sent my application in for taking the RN state boards.
June 10, 2009 I started back at North Ottawa Community Hospital as and LPN/GN and will be able to work full time this summer.
June 12-14, 2009 I attended the Multi-Ethnic Conference of the CRC. It was life changing for me and has given me many things to pursue to change in my own life so that I can effectively support changes in the church. Some of the questions that came up was what is it like to be an Irish, Scottish, Bohemin, Blackfoot, English American female in today's world? What does it mean for me who has spent the last 30 years in pentecostal, charismaic non-denominations to now be back in the Christian Reform Denomination? What does God want my home church to look and be like and how does that match scripture?
I learned about self-theologizing and that in doing this I am letting God form my beliefs to his word instead of just allowing me to be had fed what this scripture means and believeing. I also learned this is ok.
It was absolutly great being with my brothers and sisters from all over the US and of different ethinic lives. I heard so many stories and I love that. I also heard the stories of my brother and sisters from my own church and got to know them better. A closeness I will cherish.
I learned the church has come a long way, it is growing but we still have a ways to go before we can accept and cherish each others differences and "love each one as our neighbor." I learned that there are people dedicated to keep the church going in the acceptance direction, to keep reminding people that we are all image bearers of our Heavenly Father. I met a new brother, Mark Charles, Reggie Heywood and a couple from LA Richard and Allison Jones. I was reunited with brothers and sisters from two years ago. My highlight was witnessing the Synod of 2009 elect Rev. Shelia Holmes as their Vice-President evidence that God's "will is done on earth as it is in Heaven."
buíochas le Dia! for all your gifts. (Irish gaelic)
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