tonight was my last night of clinical. I made it now there are two exams to study for and my boards and I will be an RN. A journey that started in 2004 and so much has changed. At the end of this journey two of my children are married, one in college, my mother-in-law has went to her heavenly home along with my husband, pastor and dad. I lived in a three bedroom house with basement and now occupy a two room apartment but the rent is unbeatable. However the moment was bitter sweet as I walked in the door tonight after being out with classmates this evening. It was silent and there was no one to welcome me home or at this time hug me and say you made it! I know many are supporting and cheering and praying me on but these moments are when the tears come easy and the ache like a black hole. The classmates sang Happy Birthday tonight because it is that as well and I have been greeted by facebook messages and phone calls. The ache, aches. Do I try to go to sleep or just rumble at the computer?
It has been a great day!!!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
This Week
It was a good week at clinical's but it started turning melancholy when I found out that a friend from my Le Leche League years ended her earthly journey due to cancer. What a shock! I had seen her at the Art Fair down town a few years ago and we talked about kids, church and things that were happening. We were moms together and her oldest and my youngest were 4 months apart and we were nurses together and followers of Christ together because we did not talk religion but relationship. My three kids and I would go to their house in Lakeside and visit, walk over the dune, and play with them. Then they moved--Twin Lake I believe. One of the other times we seen each other was at a Michael Card concert at Maranatha. I can still see her beautiful smile and twinkle in her eyes.
Last night as I was finishing up some duties I learned of a three year old with brain cancer. She has been in this journey with her parents since December of last year and it was in the way her dad said her name that made my heart melt. Her great grandmother also has cancer and is struggling through added diagnosis.
And then today I read where another familiar person from my past also left this earth and flew to the arms of Jesus. Her family was surrounding her too and now I can hear her singing in that heavenly choir around the throne in a stand out voice this time. Our boys played soccer together and I can see her on the sidelines.
As I was watching the last episode of ER it just reinforced the fact of this circle we travel in life and with the other events of this week to keep our friendships intact and clear and clean. We do not know what the next second will bring or be but we will get some sleep and go at again tomorrow.
My heart hurts for these families here is where the sting lies and knowing all I can do in pray for them some how seems frustrating but knowing what the Father can do brings comfort. I wish they could avoid this journey but on the other hand I have no idea what our Father has for them and it will be more than I can" immeasurably ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
Last night as I was finishing up some duties I learned of a three year old with brain cancer. She has been in this journey with her parents since December of last year and it was in the way her dad said her name that made my heart melt. Her great grandmother also has cancer and is struggling through added diagnosis.
And then today I read where another familiar person from my past also left this earth and flew to the arms of Jesus. Her family was surrounding her too and now I can hear her singing in that heavenly choir around the throne in a stand out voice this time. Our boys played soccer together and I can see her on the sidelines.
As I was watching the last episode of ER it just reinforced the fact of this circle we travel in life and with the other events of this week to keep our friendships intact and clear and clean. We do not know what the next second will bring or be but we will get some sleep and go at again tomorrow.
My heart hurts for these families here is where the sting lies and knowing all I can do in pray for them some how seems frustrating but knowing what the Father can do brings comfort. I wish they could avoid this journey but on the other hand I have no idea what our Father has for them and it will be more than I can" immeasurably ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)
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