Unquenchable: Grow a Wildfire Faith that Will Endure Anything by Carol Kent

Recently I finished a book titled,  "Unquenchable: Grow a Wildfire Faith that Will Endure Anything", by Carol Kent. I was interested in the book because I had come to realize that my faith was just there, I knew I was saved and would go to heaven, I learned God was providing all my needs but I tired and lacked joy. It seemed like it had been one trial after another since 2000 with more strenuous trials happening in the last 7 1/2 years since losing my husband and becoming a widow. The most disheartening thing about the fact that my faith was just there was that by fall of 2013 I lacked the desire to do anything to change that fact.

As I read the book and Carol's own story, and the stories of others in the book I realized that there were some red embers still burning but I wasn't in the mood to fan the flame. I could identify with just about every story in the book. I had been there and I had been through what these women had been through: death of parents and in-laws, death of my husband, problems with children and the incarceration of a child, job losses, medical and mental problems with family, my own children, and husband, family disputes, church disputes, friend break-ups, and losing my own income for six months. But they came back, they were able to turn their faith around and it was at that point I realized that 1.) my own faith was probably not where God wanted it and 2.) my faith could be set a blaze again.

Continuing to read through the chapters I began to realize that the very questions Carol and others were asking I had asked too. The ideas Carol gave to blow on the embers to ignite them again, like a blessings list, journaling, forgiving, and thanking God for daily things in my life had became less of a discipline and more of a maybe I'll dot that today. I realized I was not alone in the trials that had come into my life or the wavering of my faith and I had not been picked out of the group just to be picked on. There was work happening in my life, I was becoming whole, pure, stronger and weaker, unlike so many people God, my Father had not left me on my own but gave me a guiding compass to the place we call Heaven and until then I will occupy till He calls me home or comes back for me.

Lent started March 5, and it will be during this time that I pick up those disciplines again and put them back in to my life. I will begin to intentionally thank God for the day He has given me and the blessings that came my way. As God gives me each new task I will try to remember that, He is my helper and His grace is sufficient. I can feel the embers growing hotter as I pray.

Page Two

Well, here it is another February come and going, thankfully. This a month with anniversaries I would sometimes like to forget. The two best days of Feb are the first which is Sam's birthday and now the 25th which is Thomas' birthday. There are four days which family members left earth for their heavenly reward.

The 25th is also the day that Mike, my husband died. The day that changed my world forever and this year I am having a rough time. The tears are close and I am not sure what I will do tomorrow.

Feb 26-
The day is over and I slept till noon and watched some tv, journaled and went to bed. Also called and sang Happy Birthday to Thomas. Still feeling wispy and wondering what it would be like if he were still here but really he was too sick for that.  

Prime of Life

Loved this book. The characters were vividly described and woven into the plot of this book expertly. It was suspenseful to keep me interested. Plot continued to thicken as the story went on and there was a conclusion but also left some to the imagination. Well written for a first time book.

Pages

I am a widow. There I have said it and I have been a widow for 7 years. It has taken me a long time to use the "w" word after all I was only 47 when I entered that club. It has been a journey that I never imagined. Probably a good thing one can not imagine what that journey is like and the journey is different for every widow.

My journey started out as one in shock which I believe I was in throughout the entire first year. I cried a lot and most certainly every time I was in church. The question I was asked during these times was, "Are you on something?" I finally got to the point I wanted to punch the next person that asked me that. But maybe I should have taken that as a cue that I was in a very emotional state at that time and maybe should have sought medical care. However, I was without insurance and knew I was grieving and figured I would "get over it". Not realizing I was a very broken person and may have needed medical help I marched through everyday the best I could. I was job hunting, going to school, and trying to keep a roof over my head. I really went through each day as kind of a blur and just glad when the day was over. God was with me regardless of the fact that I was mad at Him and I have figured out that He was holding on to me because He loved me. I just could not understand, why now? We had decided that I should finish up school for my RN and Mike was working at a local radio station a few hours a week. The kids were doing good Mike was taking our son to and from work some days. Another was married and the third in college. Everything seemed ok,settled and a little comfortable.

Then came that shocking February, Saturday morning and my world was forever changed. The next thing I knew I was calling EMS, the police arrived, the corner, and finally the funeral home. My pastor's wife was called and she called other church members, I started calling the kids, then my siblings and as word spread friends and family starting arriving to help, comfort, and guide me through the rest of the day. Day one done. Next came planning the funeral and to our surprise the announcer for the local hockey team announced His condolences which made the local paper before anything else did. More messages and cards poured in and God gave me a scripture for each day of hope and comfort. The rest of the year was very much a blur and I remained in shock. I did not want to get out of bed, look for a job, eat, or much of anything else but I did want to die.

The next shock wave came in August when the Pastor died of a heart attack while on vacation and at this point I felt truly defeated. Lost. A drift in a life I no longer wanted to participate in and yet I kept breathing.

Books

Found a new author to get my mystery fix from.
Eyes Wide Open by Ted Dekker

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Eyes Wide Open

This is the first Ted Dekker book I have read. I have been a fan of mysteries since the Happy Hollister’s series of books when I was younger and have continued to search for books in that genre. I do like an edge of your seat, keep you guessing mystery and I found this in “Eyes Wide Open”. I certainly was not expecting the ending but found it intriguing and gave me things to reflect on.

It has been a plot that has stuck with me too and I also like that about books wondering how open my own eyes are?




View all my reviews

A Note of Thanks and the Year in Review

I am making this note my year in review since I have been reflecting during this 7^th year since my world was turned upside down when Mike finishing his race in 2006. I am able to praise and thank God for many things, still.

My journey has had many ups, downs, twists, turns, hills, valleys, roadblocks and detours but as I look back I know God has been with me all the way. In reflection I know that in the brokenness God was healing me from life’s trauma and some of the toxicity I learned growing up. In the middle of this God provided people who would take me to church with them and I learned how Jesus loved me. This foundation is what would carry me through all my years and even now. There were some very valuable things I learned in my home growing up there were nurturing, how to care for others, how to work, and the value of education. But it also gave me a desire to change.

It was in this brokenness over many years but certainly in the last 7 I learned how God, “The Potter” reclaims His clay. The clay is soaked in His love, stirred with His hand, kneaded, wedged and kneaded some more to make a stronger vessel. On the wheel the clays goes to be shaped by his loving hands into a vessel of honor and He works with the clay until it submits to His will. I am thankful for His rebuilding of my life to live in freedom of His love. I am thankful for His restoration of relationships, of my commitment to Him and in relationships. I am thankful that He has renewed His vision in me and renewed in me His salvation from the empty life I could have lived.

God has blessed me with 3 wonderful children and the good relationships we have. I am thankful how God is working in their lives as they work out their life. I have 8, to change to 9 in July. Grandchildren I adore and they are healthy, bright and loving and they are doing well in school. All of them are learning of God’s saving grace. I have a fine family.

I am thankful for my extended family and being able to keep in touch via face book or the internet. I am rich in friends and can cheer for them as their lives grow and change, pray for them, or give a word of encouragement.

I am thankful I can choose when, where, with whom, and how to worship. I am with a family of God that loves, prays, and reaches out to each other.

I am thankful God worked out my finances so that I can now live in peace and less anxiety. I am thankful for food, clothes, and a good place to sleep. I am thankful that I did not have to move. I am thankful there are bus stops close by and for people who are willing to give me rides.

I am thankful for my community that is interested in changing and working with each other and that is changing itself from the inside out and helping other neighbors along its way. I am thankful for so many things that a list, a note or even a book may not be large enough to hold them.

    I am so blessed. May each of you experience the same in the year to come. Trina

A Remnant

5 So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. Romans 11:5 (NIV) 29 for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable. Romans 11:29 (NIV)
3 Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Psalm 100:3 (NIV)
As we begin a new year these scriptures have been coming to my spirit. Regardless of what we read, see or hear God has a people, they are HIS people and He has equipped them with gifts and His call and He does not recant or take the gifts or call back or take it away. Regardless of what is happening to you right now or what you do or do not have you are still His beloved child with the gifts He has given you.

Now we have a choice are you going to accept the gifts He has given you are you going to follow His call? Are you going to be in His pasture? Just because you are part of a body of faith or denomination does not mean you are feeding in His pasture. Now is a good time to make that change if you need to. Be assured God has a church that will triumph.

Happy New Year to one and all.