Here it is August 12th. Granddaughter, Acelynn has turned 2. Laben and Noah are playing football. Jaylee is excited about going to "pretty school" this fall and all three showed me their back packs and new shoes for school. Tim is working and living in Lansing. Sam, Brian and the kids are in IL. I am still at Aunt Sandy's even though she has asked me to find some place else to live because the income is not rolling in. I don't have enough right now for monthly rent.
I have talked to a lawyer about the unemployment case of being cut off and waiting and sending out job resumes. And I wait....
Is waiting always a part of trusting God to move in life? Is it part of faith? It is so difficult to wait, to trust and to have faith. But then what have I had to really have faith for? Food, clothes, drink are all readily available to me so I have not had to really have faith for those. I have really had a job available to me to when I needed one. Really life has been pretty instant and easy.
Now I am being asked to wait and as each day goes by I sigh, and ask, "How much longer?" I many ways I have been waiting 6 years. For other things I have been waiting days, and months. But I continue to cry out to God, "How much longer?" And it seems like my life has started and stopped a few times, too. Most of the time life has felt like a holding pattern like a place circling the runway waiting to land.
I wonder if faith and trust has always been hard to be in? My mind begins to recall the folks from scripture. What did Noah thing about or feel when he was building the Ark? What about Paul as he journeyed preaching the gospel? Did Daniel struggle emotionally while he waited for the answer to his prayer? Did Mordecai fear the King would not believe Esther? How long did it take for Esther to get to the King? How many years did Hosea wait for peace in his home?
So I wait. Meditating on the promises that nothing separates me from God's love, His grace is sufficient, He is faithful, and this period of time is only for a little while.
